Anyone who has read Running in Silence knows I was convinced to take on “Macronutrient” or “Lifestyle” diets. I wasn’t sure how to decipher correct nutrition information when books were being published about the wonders of these diets, and when the leaders were supposedly thriving eating this way. And if a certain diet wasn’t working for me, I believed it was because I wasn’t doing it “right” or going through “detox.”
As someone who was in a vulnerable spot with my body image, running, and eating disorder, these various ways of eating felt like a way out. It felt like freedom and a fix for my “broken” appetite. Only, embarking on these diets actually made everything even more confusing.
Let’s say these “gurus” were right. Let’s say eating that way is the best fuel for our bodies. Even if that were the case, what it did to me mentally, socially, and emotionally made it unhealthy (cue orthorexia). It made it difficult to eat out, to have enough “right” food, and the cravings were the most intense cravings I had ever experienced in my life. I thought I was in control, but the food/way of eating was in control of me and everything else I did.