Raw Food Journal Entry 6

April 20, 2011

These past few days I haven’t bothered to write down everything because it’s been pretty consistent, with no major new things to record. Just eatin’ my fruits and veggies!

Yesterday was fantastic because Wege had a salad of avocado and spinach. I might have over-done it on the avocado (I should watch my fat intake–don’t want to over-do it) but it was delicious!

I have had some cooked food, of course. I found out the beets I’ve been eating were actually cooked–sounds like it’s the “only” way to do it, sort of like potatoes . . . darn it! They’re still delicious, and I’m sure I’ll continue to eat them. They have lots of iron.

There was fish the other day in the cafeteria, but I finally ignored it. This is getting easier! I recognize that my body doesn’t need that much protein, and that I’m getting all the right nutrients from the vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds.

I figure I need to continue to have grains in my diet, so I still will eat some Shredded Wheat cereal. I can’t wait to sprout my own granola this summer and eat that though.

Yesterday during the workout I felt queasy. But I don’t think it’s the fiber—it seems to be from the avocado, because I didn’t have avocado at lunch today and felt fine for the run. So maybe fatty food is the culprit.

I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables for dinner. Tonight I had almost five plates of salad and vegetables. I hope this is okay! I don’t know if I’m just eating too fast or what…no one else eats this much. But I feel so hungry. And I’m trying to eat fast enough so that I get in enough vegetables because I don’t have any vegetables to eat in my dorm. Plus vegetables have fewer calories than if I were to try to just fill up on fruit. Vegetables are also a change in taste from fruit—more savory (savory-er? Haha).

I also notice that after having so many plates of vegetables, I’m embarrassed to keep eating all the vegetables and so I go looking for pizza or pasta or something. I can’t do that! I know I don’t really crave these other foods, I just feel weird getting so many plates of vegetables. And the team is starting to make comments about my food. Someone looked at my plate in disbelief and held her stomach, saying that she couldn’t imagine “stomaching” the fiber. It made me feel very self-conscious, like there was something wrong with me. I know I’m eating differently from everyone and that I may always get weird looks for it, but it still bothers me. I don’t want the attention focused on me, I just want to eat this way and get on with things.

Some of the comments the guys make at Wege are funny, but after doing it the tenth time it gets old. Obviously I’m eating the right stuff, so why do people have to feel like they’re trying to “help me” by saying it’s okay to eat junk? I figured since I wasn’t bothering anyone else with what they’re eating then they’d leave me alone…

April 21, 2011

I stopped at Harvest Health today to get familiar with all the new food. The organic and sprouted things are expensive. That scares me.

I came home to a BLENDER this weekend! My mom is wonderful. She bought the “Blendtec” as an early-birthday gift. I can’t wait to start using it!

Supper tonight consisted of broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, and lots of fresh fruit. I felt like an endless pit though. I feel like I’ve been hungrier than usual, and that bothers me. We’re already paying more for this food, and I just can’t stop eating it all. I thought all the fiber would keep me full.

Order your copy of Running in Silence: My Drive for Perfection and the Eating Disorder That Fed It here.