Binge Eating Disorder: Through the Lens of an Ultrarunner (Guest Post by Jeremy Susi)
Jeremy Susi wears many different hats. He is a committed husband, loving father, dedicated teacher, passionate coach, and avid distance runner. He says, “Those are the obvious identities that the entire world can see with plain eyes, but deep down I’m just a human being trying to navigate this complicated thing called life.” Jeremy shares […]
A Destructive Numbers Game
I thought it was just a numbers game. I thought it was just about having discipline and willpower. I thought it was running until you threw up, that you had to grit your teeth, and push through pain. When I valued these things in running, it wasn’t difficult to grit my teeth and push through […]
Journal Entries January 2013: Binge Eating Athlete?
Reading through old journal entries reminds me of how far I’ve come in five years. It also reminds me of how confused, lonely, and scared I felt back then. The following journal entries may be triggering, but I do not reveal numbers. I thought it would be important to share how devastating and confusing binge […]
Returning to Competition with Binge Eating
To the athletes with a restrictive eating past who are now bingeing: I know this hurts. It hurts like hell. You probably feel broken physically and mentally. You want someone to understand. You want it to stop. You just want to be back to where you were before. I know, because I’ve been there, too. […]
“They Just Disappeared”: Beyond Anorexia in Runners
Post updated March 16, 2021, to improve clarity and readability. We often picture eating disorders in the running world in the form of a frail girl crossing the finish line. There’s an assumption that this person will run into multiple stress fractures in the next few years. And that, that is how they will disappear […]
Rachael Recovered? Phases of the Eating Disorder and Where I Am Now
TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder behaviors mentioned. When I talk about my past eating disorder behaviors, the past Rachael I speak of seems so different from the Rachael I know now. When I write it all out as I’ve done here, it becomes clearer than ever. Restriction (2 years) 7 a.m.: Wakeup, and the first thing you […]
Discipline, Drugs, and Disorder
I was recently challenged with the notion that eating disorders are not as intense or similar to drug addiction or alcoholism. I’ve also been asked if eating disorders are more of a “discipline” rather than a “disorder” issue. And then we have misconceptions about what eating disorders “look” like: only when are you very thin […]
Guest Post: Brittany Burgunder’s Battle
I came across Brittany’s blog about a year ago and found her eating disorder struggle similar to my own. Certainly, Brittany’s drastic weight fluctuation in a small amount of time is relatable to me as well as many more of us, and shows that the problem lies not in appearance, but in our attitude toward […]
Why Certain “Lifestyle” Diets Didn’t “Fix” My Eating Disorder
Q: Balance – If we don’t take care of ourselves, we aren’t as able to [take care of] others. It’s about finding balance so that you avoid extremes in diet and exercise. I know that people have commented that they want to know what diet you finally found that works best, and it makes me […]
Eating Disorders vs. Healthy Eating
Let’s say a friend chooses to order a salad while the rest of your friends order pizza. Is this friend restricting calories to lose weight? Or does he want a salad right now because pizza doesn’t sound appetizing at the moment? Some people may eat in a way that makes others think, eating disorder. But […]