The Problem With Very Particular Portions
“You sure eat a lot.” “You’re eating AGAIN?” “Didn’t you just eat?” These were the kind of comments I received—not just in my mind when I had an eating disorder, but also from those around me as I was recovering. And in the midst of recovery, I was taking in a lot of food. I […]
Core Happiness in Eating Disorder Recovery
“Hey Smiley!” “So many pictures of you smiling on Facebook!” “You seem so happy.” I remember hearing these comments in the spring of 2015. They were different from the comments I heard in the spring of 2012 about my physical weight gain (comments made with the right intentions, but not helpful in eating disorder recovery). […]
My Eating Disorder Dietitian Saved My Life
Anyone who has read Running in Silence knows that I was convinced to take on “macronutrient” or “lifestyle” diets. I wasn’t sure how to decipher correct nutrition information when there were published books about the wonders of these diets, and when the leaders of such diets were boasting about the benefits. And if a certain […]
An Ode To Carbs: The Macronutrient That Jumpstarted My Eating Disorder Recovery
As I attempted various “lifestyle” diets throughout my eating disorder, I often read that eating sugary food or carbs would make me crave more carbs. I was quick to agree with this because any time I did eat carbs, my body screamed for more. What I failed to realize was that my body was not […]
The Process of Eating Disorder Recovery
Nearly six years ago I shared my journey as I began eating disorder recovery. And if you read back through the blog posts, you’ll find that there was no distinct day or time that I felt fully recovered. The process was gradual. Over time I was able to look back and see that all the […]
Returning to Competition with Binge Eating
To the athletes with a restrictive eating past who are now bingeing: I know this hurts. It hurts like hell. You probably feel broken physically and mentally. You want someone to understand. You want it to stop. You just want to be back to where you were before. I know, because I’ve been there, too. […]
The Reality of Eating Disorder Recovery: It’s Tougher (But Better) Than You May Think
I wish I could be the shining example of what it means to recover and run faster. I wish I ran faster at a higher weight. And maybe I could have if my training had been consistent enough without the eating disorder invading everything. I’m no longer running. I didn’t have a magnificent comeback race […]
Thankful for Recovery: The Journey, and Reaching the Destination
Thanksgiving 2010 I was concerned about having enough “safe” foods at dinner. Thanksgiving 2011 I ate my own separate “raw food diet” foods. Thanksgiving 2012 I binged on pie in my bedroom. Thanksgiving 2017: I’m excited to eat. I indulge in the dark turkey with stuffing and relish the taste of fresh green beans. I […]
Interview with National Champ Erin Herrmann: Speaking Up About Eating Disorders
I had the privilege of interviewing National Champion for the 3000m Steeplechase from Hope College Erin Herrmann, who came out about her eating disorder in May. She shares her story and advice for others who may be struggling in the video interview below! Her biggest tip? TALK ABOUT IT. “Trust in the love of the […]
[Dumpster] Diving Into Male Eating Disorders: Matt’s Story & Recovery
Several years after I graduated from high school, and well into recovering from my eating disorder, I heard about a guy running cross country at my high school who had developed anorexia. From afar I yearned to help him. But not knowing exactly who he was, and not wanting to overstep boundaries, I heard updates […]